The Naruto Fanclub
by Kezzone
Summary: Join stalkerwithacrush, Avenger, Cherryblossom, and many others on their exciting journey of friendship, loss, and worship of the Great and Wonderful and Mouthwatering Naruto. (I'm so sorry)


_Hinata sighed. Another day of watching her wonderful, perfect, hot, incredible, amazing, stupendous, mouthwatering crush. Oh, she didn't care that they never talked. She was perfectly fine following ten steps behind him, watching his every move. Picking the tests he threw away out of the trash and framing them. Taking pictures of him when he wasn't watching. Putting cameras in his shower._

_No, Hinata was very happy even if they never talked._

_What she had grown tried of was not lack of contact with him, but the lack of fellow Narutoism converts. Hinata knew that one day it would be the most popular religion in the ninja world, but one day was not today, and she had grown sick of watching the delusional fangirls go crazy over Sasuke day after day when Naruto was sitting right over there._

_She just wanted somewhere she could share her love for all things Naruto without being treated like even more of a freak, and soon the answer occured to her. Ah, it's so obvious. I just need to create a Naruto fanclub. But wait, that's a bit embarrassing so I'll just create one online! I'll even disguise my way of talking so no one will figure out about my crush!_

_With this brilliant idea in mind, Hinata set out to create the perfect Naruto fanclub. Little did she know that what she was starting would one day be the top internet site in the ninja world._

...NARUTOISM...

**stalkerwithacrush**: i've like totally started this awesome fanclub! join and worship the ground that the almighty ramen lord walks on!

_Disguising her way of typing was hard for Hinata. But it soon became clear to her: as a member of the Hyuuga clan she'd always been told to type with proper grammar, so she'd just completely disregard that, and then, to add insult to injury, write like a valley girl. No one would be able to see through this brilliant disguise!_

**IrukaSensei**: Huh? What's this? A fanclub for Naruto? I thought everyone hated him...

**stalkerwithacrush**: i don't! Naruto's amazing! he saved me from some bullies

i mean he helped me once

I**rukaSense**i: Oh? Naruto did? I'm proud.

So onto Naruto... That's the point of this chatroom, right?

**stalkerwithacrush**: he's so, like cute! i wish i was able to say that to him in public though...

much better than sasuke!

**IrukaSensei**: You're Hinata, aren't you?

**stalkerwithacrush**: um, no?

like totally not!

i'm not that um, loser?

what makes you think someone, like, as amazing as me could be /that/ hinata?

i mean she's amazing too but not like me

**IrukaSensei**: ...

**stalkerwithacrush**: ahemmmm so you need to (like) enter this form when you want to join this fanclub.

name: stalkerwithacrush

relationship with Naruto: true love. he just hasn't realized it yet.

why did you join this club: he's so... he's Naruto, and i love him! alright?

say something nice about Naruto: he's the best person in the world!

so that's it.

**IrukaSensei: **Like this?

Name: IrukaSensei

Relationship with Naruto: His teacher

Why did You Join This Club: Because I care for Naruto and want to meet others who do as well

Say Something Nice about Naruto: He has lots of determination

**stalkerwithacrush**: welcome to, like, the club!

...NARUTOISM...

_Hinata smiled. Yes, everything was going just as planned. It'd been a few months, but she finally had found her first member! It wouldn't be long before she converted everyone in the lands!_

...NARUTOISM...

**IrukaSensei**: Today Naruto went up against Sasuke in a match!

**stalkerwithacrush**: oh... i was in a different class at that, like, time.

**IrukaSensei**: They swore to be rivals! (Or more Naruto did. Sasuke just sort of stood there looking cool)

**stalkerwithacrush**: but not as cool as Naruto!

**IrukaSensei**: Definitely not.

And they fought. Naruto lost.

**stalkerwithacrush**: hiding his amazing strength?

**IrukaSensei**: He's not strong yet, but I don't doubt he will one day be. Maybe he will even become Hokage.

**Sandaime:** oh iruka! i didn't know you had that much faith in Naruto.

**IrukaSensei**: Umm

well

he is very determined. And he's um

**Sandaime:** He's a lot like you were when you were that age.

**stalkerwithacrush**: did you come to join this fanclub too, sandaime?

**Sandaime:**

Name: Sandaime

Relationship with Naruto: his caretaker/boss

Why did You Join This Club: Boredom

Say Something Nice about Naruto: He has a lot of spirit

Yes I did. Naruto will be a great heir to the hokage business. Just like the fourth.

**stalkerwithacrush**: you adults are always, like, comparing Naruto to the fourth

**Sandaime:** err... well... they look alike. It's not that they're related or anything, though! hehehe

**IrukaSensei**: Naruto and the fourth related? that'd be impossible. Even though he had a wife- a pregnant wife- and her due date was Naruto's birthday- it's impossible.

**stalkerwithacrush**: Naruto will be a great ninja like, like, the fourth someday though, right?

then he can sweep me off my feet... *sigh*

**IrukaSensei**: Naruto got assigned a team today!

**stalkerwithacrush**: what team? am i, like on it?

i mean, is hinata, like, on it?

**IrukaSensei**: No

**stalkerwithacrush**: cries

**IrukaSensei**: Sakura and Sasuke are though.

**stalkerwithacrush**: but Naruto likes sakura. and i don't see her going around making fanclubs for him! i deserved to be on his team! no fair!

...NARUTOISM...

_Now that ninja training had picked up gears, it was getting harder for Hinata to find time to spend in the fanclub, but she wouldn't give up. Naruto was more important to her then everything, after all! He was just so dreamy._

...NARUTOISM...

**mirrorofice: **So Naruto has a fanclub, huh?

**stalkerwithacrush:** who are you?

**mirrorofice:** No one important.

**IrukaSensei:** Are you going to join?

**mirrorofice:** No. I just wanted to see something... and request something. Please look after Naruto and keep him out of harm. He seems like the type that's always going around looking for trouble, so please

**stalkerwithacrush: **she just stopped typing. do you think?

**IrukaSensei: **Let's wait awhile. She might just be trying to gather her thoughts.

...

Alright, maybe she won't reply.

**stalkerwithacrush:** do you think she's alright?

**mirrorofice:** I'm back. Sorry for making you wait.

Just please take care of Naruto.

If he is still alive by the next time you see him.

That's all I wanted to say.

**IrukaSensei:** Wait! Who are you!?

**mirrorofice:** Naruto's enemy.

**stalkerwithacrush:** are you saying that you are

**mirrorofice: **I have to leave now.

Oh, and one last thing...

I'm a guy :P

...NARUTOISM...

**Avenger:**

Name: Avenger

Why did You Join This Club: To laugh at the people who give this much respect to an idiot like Naruto

Say Something Nice about Naruto: There is nothing nice to say

**Avenger:** ... I have chosen to join.

**stalkerwithacrush**: you left relationship w/ Naruto blank?

**Avenger:** And?

**IrukaSensei**: It is one of the club rules.

**Avenger:** Don't care.

It doesn't matter what I am to that idiot.

**stalkerwithacrush**: i heard that Naruto just got back from a a-rank mission!

waiit did the new member just call Naruto a, a you know?

**Avenger:** He is one.

It doesn't matter.

Don't mind me.

**IrukaSensei**: Alright. Well, on the subject of his mission

He told me he managed to single handedly defeat two jounin level ninja.

**Avenger: **He did no such thing.

He talked.

They listened.

That is all.

**stalkerwithacrush**: OMG avenger, you have an inside scoop on Naruto's doings?

**Avenger: **... yes.

I suppose I do.

By the way.

I wasn't aware that he had fangirls.

**stalkerwithacrush**: you sound jealous!

**Avenger:** I don't.

...NARUTOISM...

**IrukaSensei**: The chuunin exams are coming up. Naruto tells me that He Sakura and Sasuke will be entering.

**stalkerwithacrush**: He is? I'm so happy.

**Avenger: **...

I hope he does well.

**stalkerwithacrush**: you do care!

**Avenger: **I don't.

I said that with selfish motivations.

**IrukaSensei**: I'm not going to be able to go online for a while due to the exams.

**Avenger:** Same here.

**stalkerwithacrush**: me too.

...NARUTOISM...

**stalkerwithacrush**: i'm back! and, like, guess what! Naruto... TALKED TO ME! he cheered for me! to me! at me! all for me! and he got mad... for me!

**Avenger: **... same.

At me though.

**IrukaSensei**: Oh, the two of you are back?

**stalkerwithacrush**: yes!

**Avenger: **He's slightly cool.

I'm talking about Naruto.

I didn't think so before, but lately I've...

...

...

**stalkerwithacrush**: so you're a tsundere type?

**Avenger: **No.

**GeniusOfHardWork:** So Naruto has a fanclub?

Yes! Go Naruto! Even though he isn't a genius by blood

**Sandaime:** cough

**GeniusOfHardWork:** he still gets an online fanclub! Not even Sasuke has one of those.

So, I shall go and inform Naruto of this.

And we can rejoice in youthful tears of joy together

**Avenger: **DON'T

**stalkerwithacrush**: please don't

**IrukaSensei**: Fine, go tell him

**GeniusOfHardWork:** I will!

_**Avenger has signed off**_

**stalkerwithacrush: **why did avenger sign off? i wonder what she is doing

**GeniusOfHardWork:** What is this? This mysterious shadow- black? Blue- OMG it's

_**GeniusOfHardWork has signed off**_

**stalkerwithacrush**: what was that?

**IrukaSensei**: ... I'm not sure...

_**Avenger has signed on**_

**Avenger:** He won't be remembering the past week. It was idiotic of him to do this while in the hospital and unable to defend himself.

**stalkerwithacrush**:...

**Avenger:** What are you doing, stalker?

I am the only one allowed to use '... '

NARUTOISM

**stalkerwithacrush**: Naruto beat up kiba, like totally! i mean, i'm not supposed to pick sides, but... sigh... he was so dreamy

**Avenger:** Dreamy?

Wait.

He.

Naruto.

Bested Kiba.

...?

**stalkerwithacrush**: hmm?

**Avenger:** I don't want to be left behind

**stalkerwithacrush**: are you competition for my affections?

**Avenger:** ... uh?

**stalkerwithacrush**: so there is someone else who like has a crush on Naruto! i'll need to prove to him that I am the one for him! he IS going to beat up nej- someone for me, after all.

**Avenger: **It's not like that!

And besides, he's fighting someone for you?

He only fights for me.

Only me.

ONLY me.

**stalkerwithacrush**: not anymore!

**Avenger:** He always fights for me.

Did he go all red chakra for you?

**stalkerwithacrush**: He hasn't fought for me, like yet

**Avenger:** Oh.

**Cherryblossom:**

Name: Cherryblossom

Relationship with Naruto: We know each other.

Why did You Join This Club: No reason really. I just saw it and was tempted to join.

Say Something Nice about Naruto: ... I guess he can be pretty nice sometimes. When he isn't being annoying, that is.

**Avenger:** Cherryblossom?

**stalkerwithacrush**: are you sure you aren't competition avenger? didn't you say that you started liking Naruto when he promised to protect you?

hey, that's my reason for liking him as well! Naruto is a good person like that

but please don't betray me and ask him out

please

**Avenger:** I don't like Naruto in the sense that you are implying, but I started when he proved himself strong and...

uh...

saved my life.

Not that I needed his help or anything.

**Cherryblossom:** he has a habit of doing that, doesn't he? Saving lives I mean? (For the record, I'm joining this club because I'm curious, not because I like Naruto. So no need to be threatened by me :) )

**stalkerwithacrush**: like, yeah. he's like that.

that's why i love him.

**Cherryblossom:** He's so odd, and not cute and obnoxious but... He's also... God, I can't explain it. He's different.

**Avenger:** He is.

**stalkerwithacrush**: there's no-one else like him.

**Cherryblossom: **/Laughs/ you could say that again!

...NARUTOISM...

**Pervyfrog:** So, that Naruto kid has a fanclub, eh?

Name: Pervyfrog

Relationship with Naruto: his teacher

Why did You Join This Club: wanted to check out the kid's background. look what I found!

Say Something Nice about Naruto: he reminds me of the fourth hokage for some mysterious reason

and I've been spending a lot of time with him lately. I never knew that he had such a (obviously hot and female) club. Would you ladies like to come over sometime?

**stalkerwithacrush**: no. i'm not good at talking to people in person. i'm actually pretty, like, shy.

**Cherryblossom:** Go... out with... Naruto... ?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Avenger:** I will not.

While I am incredibly hot, I am not female.

**stalkerwithacrush**: you're not? i thought you were.

**Avenger: **...

**stalkerwithacrush**: well, like, from the way you like typed and talked about Naruto like a well, like a fangirl and stuff.

**Cherryblossom:** She's right

(You are female, right Stalker?)

I thought Avenger was a girl too.

**stalkerwithacrush**:(Yep I am, you?)

**Cherryblossom: **(Female).

Maybe we should add the gender thing to the quiz?

So we don't get confused again.

**stalkerwithacrush**: Good idea.

**Avenger:** I am not

I don't

Never call me a girl again

**stalkerwithacrush:** i thought you were in love with Naruto though...

**Cherryblossom:** Idiot! Just because Avenger is a guy doesn't mean he can't be in love with Naruto...

**Avenger:** But I'm NOT in love with him.

**Cherryblossom: **Are you good looking Avenger?

**Avenger:** Yes.

**stalkerwithacrush:** i'm envious, avenger. you are so self confident...

**Cherryblossom:** How old are you?

**Avenger**: 13

**Cherryblossom: **Are you a konoha ninja?

**Avenger:** Yes.

**Cherryblossom:** Do you care about Naruto?

**Avenger: **No

Well

I am a member of this fanclub

So maybe

Probably not.

I don't dislike him anymore at least

**Cherryblossom: **You have my permission to ask him out!

**stalkerwithacrush:** what?!

**Avenger: **I don't WANT to ask the idiot out!

**stalkerwithacrush: **you know that i like Naruto, right?

**Cherryblossom: **Well... I'd never admit this in real life...

but it's hot when two guys are err together and I wouldn't complain about a front row seat

if you know what I mean

**Avenger: **What? No! Never!

Me and

Naruto?

I

no

not happening

ever

**stalkerwithacrush**: yeah! don't let avenger near my Naruto.

**Cherryblossom: **Calm down! I was just saying...

Hey stalker, what would your honest reaction be if you saw...

Say...

Naruto seems off limits, but...

Sasuke and Kiba making out?

**stalkerwithacrush:** i... umm...

**Avenger:** Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Not happening.

Sasuke would never kiss another guy

Especially not Kiba

Which is almost as bad as Sasuke kissing Naruto.

Which has never happened!

Ewww!

**Cherryblossom: **I bet Avenger's face is bright red right now.

**stalkerwithacrush:** hehe. as long as he doesn't try to steal Naruto from me this is sorta fun...

teasing him about this i mean.

**Cherryblossom:** You're learning, stalker!

**IrukaSensei:** ... Well this chatroom sure has become interesting since I last came here.

**IrukaSensei has opened a PRIVATE CHAT with Avenger**

**IrukaSensei:** Sasuke, is that you?

...

Well, it doesn't seem that you're going to reply.

So I'll just put this out there- if you're having any, uh, issues you want to come talk to me about, I'll always be available for guidance.

I know that coming to terms with your sexuality is hard, but I'm sure everyone would be very supportive and open minded about it. Your friends wouldn't disown you just because you like Naruto instead of Sakura.

Even Sakura won't.

I'm sure of that.

So, just so you know

I'm always there for you.

And who knows? If you're honest about your feelings, Naruto might even give you a chance.

You won't know until you try.

**Avenger: **I

Don't

Like

Naruto

Or any other guys!

Or any girls either!

And Sasuke's the same!

Who I am obviously not!

**Avenger has closed the PRIVATE CHAT**

**Cherryblossom:** Hey stalker. Why do I have this feeling that we just missed something epic?

**stalkerwithacrush: **i, like, for some reason have similar thoughts...

...NARUTOISM...

**Cherryblossom:** The chunin exams final phase are starting soon!

**stalkerwithacrush:** i hope Naruto does well!

**Cherryblossom:** Me too!

Avenger hasn't been online in a long time, huh?

**stalkerwithacrush:** do you think he's, like, mad at us for saying he's in love with Naruto?

**Cherryblossom:** I doubt Avenger is that much of a pussy!

**stalkerwithacrush:** you're a pretty tough person, huh cherry?

**Cherryblossom:** Not really. I always cry and watch the backs of my teammates

But I want to change that!

**stalkerwithacrush: **i understand. there are also things about myself that i want to change...

**Cherryblossom: **Good luck!

I've only known you for a little while, but it feels like a lot longer...

**stalkerwithacrush:** same.

maybe we could, like, promise each other that we'll

not go like completely overboard

but succeed in changing?

even just a little bit?

**Cherryblossom:** Deal!

Maybe we'll even meet during the exams!

**stalkerwithacrush:** i doubt you'll recognize me if we do though...

...NARUTOISM...

**Cherryblossom:** I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IDIOT ACTUALLY WON!

Against Neji, too!

**stalkerwithacrush:** yeah. i knew he could do it...

and he did it for me!

**Cherryblossom:** Huh?

**stalkerwithacrush:** oh, nothing.

nothing at all.

i'm so happy!

just so

like

happy

**Avenger: **Wait.

NARUTO beat NEJI?

**stalkerwithacrush: **you mean you didn't see it?:

**Avenger:** I couldn't make it on time.

That Naruto has become that strong...?

**stalkerwithacrush:** yeah! but i couldn't watch his fight either... i collapsed in the middle of it, and now am only well enough to chat you guys.

**Cherryblossom:** Are you okay Stalker?

**stalkerwithacrush:** now i am. a medical ninja helped me...

he sounded suspiciously like that kabuto guy from the exams but that's silly because kabuto isn't a medical ninja!

...NARUTOISM...

**Avenger: **This is my last time here

**stalkerwithacrsuh: **what do you mean?

you aren't leaving the club, right?

**Avenger:** I just said I was

I won't be coming back

Don't try to stop me

**Cherryblossom:** Please Avenger.

You have to understand

Don't leave us

I recently lost a different friend...

I can't have another of my comrades go so soon after...

**stalkerwithacrush: **why?

why do you have to go?

**Avenger:** You two

You guys wouldn't understand

You're both so sheltered!

Coming on here, gossiping, talking about the orange idiot, and going in with your lives as if you don't have a care in the world!

Meanwhile I

I...

**Cherryblossom:** I know it's hard to understand sometimes, Avenger.

But we are your friends.

These past few months of hanging out online together- even though we have never met in person- Don't you think that they were something special?

I honestly consider you and stalker to be two of my closest friends.

**stalkerwithacrush: **why do you have to leave?

**Avenger**: I

I couldn't

I won't

There's something I need to do.

Something important.

More important than anything else

Something only I can do

Something I HAVE to do

**stalkerwithacrush:** think of all the time we've spent on this fanclub. cagedbird, mask7, IrukaSensei, pervyfrog, geniusofhardwork, nobody, sharkfins, kuranine, and

and so many others

all of the people who have been online

some who aren't around anymore...

**Cherryblossom: **Stalker...

**stalkerwithacrush:** and you avenger!

you are one of the most important parts of this fanclub

**Avenger:** You'll all be fine without me

**Cherryblossom:** Who will be the brunt of every joke if you're gone?

**stalkerwithacrush: **who else can we tease of being tsundere?

**Avenger:** I am going now

Goodbye

Don't

Don't think about me

Or miss me

No matter what

**Cherryblossom: **Avenger!

GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW

AVENGER

PLEASE DAMNIT

**stalkerwithacrush:** i don't think he's coming back

**Cherryblossom:** How could that idiot abandon us like that?

**Avenger:** Oh

One last thing

It was...

How do I say this

Fun.

**Avenger has signed out.**

...NARUTOISM...

_It was years before Avenger returned. _

* * *

><p>AN; One day I'll add in the rest of this, maybe. There's a lot to the chatroom that didn't get in the fic.


End file.
